Letters without Words: Working with Adolescent with Severely Traumatized Parents

ABSTRACT

The ability of parents to mentalize, i.e. to recognize that their children are independent psychological beings with their own thoughts, desires and intentions that motivate their behavior, is of critical importance for healthy child development. Parents who have had traumatizing experiences are often preoccupied with their own self-regulation, with their frightening inner images and with ruptures in their self-experience, which can compromise their parenting. Trauma-associated self- and relationship regulation disorders are passed on via various “transmission belts.” Atmospheric moments, fantasies, feelings and thoughts of traumatized parents, the nature and quality of the relationship and specific interactions with their children, lead to the traumatic events manifesting themselves between the parents and their children. The trauma processes affect parents’ ability to mentalize and, as a result, their children are also unable to adequately develop their mentalization competences. Traumatized parents who remain silent about their history are particularly challenging for their adolescent children and their search for belonging and identity. Mentalization-oriented psychotherapists which integrate psychoanalytic concepts and approaches in their interventions in various settings (family sessions, work with parents, individual psychotherapy) can help to process and resolve transgenerational transmission processes. Two case studies illustrate the theoretical considerations.

Acknowledgments

This article would have been impossible without the openness and trust of my patients, from whom I have learned many things. I would also like to thank the many colleagues who have repeatedly given me new ideas and stimuli with their questions in various settings.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Patient anonymization statement

Potentially personally identifying information presented in this article that relates directly or indirectly to an individual, or individuals, has been changed to disguise and safeguard the confidentiality, privacy and data protection rights of those concerned, in accordance with the journal’s anonymization policy.

Notes

1. The case studies have been anonymized so that the respective persons and situations are not identifiable.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

M. T. Diez Grieser

M. T. Diez Grieser, PhD, Psychoanalyst for children, adolescents, and adults. Studied psychology in Zurich with a thesis in developmental psychology. After many years of clinical work and research activity in various institutions, she now practices as a psychotherapist in Zurich. She lectures at various academies and institutes and supervises professionals in the therapeutic and social-pedagogical field in various countries. Teaching and publications are based on developmental psychology and mentalization-oriented therapy for children, adolescents, and adults, especially in relation to complex traumatization. www.diez-grieser.ch