‘Dear younger self…’: using a photograph think-aloud method to explore the lessons university students would pass on to their teenage selves

Abstract

University can be a time of identity shift and transition for many and for some, the worries of adolescence can start to subside. Aims: This qualitative study explored the lessons those in their final year at University would say to their younger selves using a novel photograph prompted think-aloud method. Final year University students (n = 42; aged 20–24) were asked to look at a photograph of themselves in their mid-teens and think-aloud about the lessons learned since this time. The transcripts were analysed using thematic analysis and described three main themes: ‘create a safe space’ to ensure a positive environment around you; ‘look around you and take perspective’ involving looking outwards to realise that things could be worse; ‘look inwards and trust yourself’ by listening to your feelings. Transcending these themes was the value of learning to ‘be patient and accept change’ and an overarching lesson to ‘pay attention to what matters’. The lessons University students would give their younger selves involved regulating both their internal and external world, being patient and paying attention to aspects of the world that enhance wellbeing. These lessons provide an insider’s voice which is both relatable and inspiring for other young people. Further, they illustrate the application of a novel photograph prompted think-aloud method which could be used to elicit lessons learned from a wealth of life stages and reflections of recovery after both physical and mental health problems.

Keywords:

• University students
• identity
• self-esteem
• adolescence
• qualitative
• think aloud

Reviewing Editor:

• Daryl O’Connor, University of Leeds, United Kingdom

Subjects:

• Introductory Psychology
• General Psychology
• Developmental Psychology
• Psychological Science
• Mental Health

Introduction

Adolescence is characterized by rapid social, emotional, neurological, cognitive and behavioural development (Blakemore, 2012) and can be one of the most challenging life stages (Lochman et al., 2016). This developmental stage has been linked to a broad range of well-being related issues such as low self-esteem, body issues, identity crises, worry, or relationship problems (Henriksen et al., 2017) together with mental health problems including, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and self-harm (Lochman et al., 2016). Research has highlighted a number of possible causes of such issues in adolescence including changes in hormones (Pfeifer & Allen, 2021; Lochman et al., 2016), family relationships and attachments issues (Bowlby, 1969; Flykt et al., 2021; Groh et al., 2017) and social factors such as bullying, performance stress and social media (Adedeji et al., 2021; Barthorpe et al., 2020; Kendrick et al., 2012; Pfeifer & Allen, 2021; Yurdagül et al., 2021).  Research also shows, however, that many of these issues subside as people leave their teenage years (e.g. Galambos et al., 2006; Messersmith & Schulenberg, 2010) and that whilst going to University can be a challenging transition it can also be a time for reinvention and a shift in identity (e.g. Briggs et al., 2012; Matschke et al., 2023). The changes from adolescence to adulthood have been explored within the context of both positive and negative changes in well-being, possible causes of these changes and qualitative studies exploring the experiences of those in this phase of their lives.

In terms of changes in well-being, some studies have indicated that leaving adolescence can be a problematic time in terms of increased addictions including binge drinking and drug use due to peer pressure (Keyzers et al., 2020; Sussman & Arnett, 2014), poorer mental health in terms of mood and personality disorders (e.g. Arnett et al., 2014; Baldwin et al., 2005; Blanco et al., 2008; Kessler et al., 2005) and greater Diabetes Distress due to problems with managing a Diabetes diagnosis in the context of life instability (Wentzell et al., 2020). Other studies show variability in wellbeing during this stage of life which has been linked to psychological states such as negativity, identity exploration and the degree of experimentation (e.g. Baggio et al., 2015, 2017; Lisha et al., 2014). In contrast, however, other research suggests that as an individual emerges into adulthood problems experienced in adolescence start to resolve. For example, some studies indicate a reduction in depression, improved well-being and great social support as individuals transition out of adolescence into their twenties (Galambos et al., 2006; Messersmith & Schulenberg, 2010. Pettit et al., 2011).

Research has also explored possible causes for the changes at this time. For example, as hormonal fluctuations start to level off the individual can experience greater stability in mood and emotions, reduced anxiety and stress, and improved overall mental well-being (Pfeifer & Allen, 2021; Trotman et al., 2013). Further, individuals develop coping strategies and forms of resilience which can act as a protective factor for mental health, enabling them individuals to deal with stress and difficult emotions more efficiently (Leipold et al., 2019). Furthermore, as individuals transition into adulthood, there is an increase in mental health-related help-seeking in the form of therapy due to both greater acceptability and access to resources (Radez et al., 2021). Specifically, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) with its focus on the links between thoughts, feelings and behaviour and the use of cognitive restructuring, Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) with its emphasis on acceptance and self-care and Mindfulness have been found to help with mental health symptoms in this age group such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, trauma, and stress-disorders (Dunning et al., 2019; Hayes et al., 2011; Klein et al., 2007; Petersen et al., 2022).

Some research has also used a qualitative approach to focus on the individuals’ own subjective experiences of their well-being. For example, as part of an evaluation of the Head Start programme in England, Stapley et al. (Stapley et al., 2020, 2023) interviewed young people about how they cope with difficult situations. First, Stapley et al. (2020) interviewed 82 9–12 years olds and highlighted a wide range of coping strategies including disengaging from problems, standing up for yourself and acceptance of problems. Next, Stapley et al. (2023) interviewed 31 adolescents (aged 11–12 years) over 3 years and reported the use of similar coping strategies together with a range of sources of social support. In a similar vein, Hermann et al. (2022) interviewed 32 Swedish young people (aged 15–18) and reported how they were aware of the complex and holistic nature of wellbeing and described how feeling well varied according to thoughts, feelings, the situation and coping mechanisms. Other research has explored the experiences of those with clinical problems. For example, Weitkamp et al. (2016) interviewed 6 young people (aged 15–19) about their experiences of depression and highlighted themes relating to how suffering was seen as overwhelming, their experiences of isolation and loneliness and how therapy was seen as a last resort. Similarly, Grob et al. (2020) interviewed 30 young people (aged 18–29) about their experiences of depression and concluded that whilst participants reported a ‘toxin’ component to depression it could also be seen as a means to build resilience leading to benefits such as a catalyst to mature development, deeper self-knowledge and sometimes the emergence of a sense of life purpose which the authors conceptualised as a ‘nutritional supplement’.

These qualitative studies provide in depth insights into the experience of both subclinical and clinical well-being issues and highlight how young people manage their lives in the here and now. To date, however, how those who have passed through adolescence feel looking back remains a neglected area of research. Such retrospection would enable individuals to reflect on who they were and who they are now and with hindsight what they feel they have learned about managing their well-being health as they have got older. It could provide relatable accounts for future generations of young people. Such retrospective accounts find reflection in ‘success stories’ and ‘recovery stories’ to identify how individual’s conceptualise improvement in their health status across a number of disparate domains. For example, research has explored ‘success’ in the context of physical health in the form of weight loss and maintenance (Epiphaniou & Ogden, 2010), smoking cessation (Ogden & Hills, 2008) and recovery from burns (Williams et al., 2003). Similarly, some research has addressed the experiences of those who have recovered from mental health problems including psychosis (Gold, 2007), Anorexia Nervosa (Jenkins & Ogden, 2012) and serious and persistent mental illness (Jensen & Wadkins, 2007). Whilst varying in their focus, common themes are apparent across all domains including factors such as coping, adaptation, social support, resilience and a shift in identity. To date, however, only one study has focused on the account of those specifically as they leave transition into adulthood. In 2006, Everall et al. interviewed 13 individuals from Canada (aged 17–26) who had been previously suicidal but not had suicidal thoughts in the past 6 months to explore their reflections upon recovery and the factors that they felt had been protective for them (Everall et al., 2006). The study was framed within the context of resilience (Hauser, 1999; Hauser et al., 1989; Rutter, 1987, 2001) and highlighted the role of four domains for promoting well being and the reduction in suicidality. These were social processes involving relationships with others; emotional processes particularly the awareness and expression of feelings; cognitive processes including a shift in perspective and recognition of control; and the importance of taking purposeful action involving trying out new behaviours, creating a future, developing a more positive identity and finding purpose in life which were conceptualised as being in an iterative dynamic. This study, however, focused only on one clinical mental health problem (i.e. suicidality) and therefore may not be relevant to the wider range of well-being issues faced as individuals transition into adulthood.

In summary, whilst adolescence can be a time of struggle, some problems can start to subside as individuals enter adulthood. To date, whilst some qualitative research has explored the experiences of those at this developmental time, no research has explored what those transitioning into adulthood feel they have learned about managing their well-being in the broadest sense. The present study therefore used a novel qualitative think-aloud approach to explore what lessons young adults would give to their younger selves when reflecting on their experiences of well-being during adolescence. The study also used a photograph of the participant in their teenage years to facilitate the think-aloud process. For this study, a particular focus on self-esteem and confidence was adopted, as these have been seen to underpin many of the sub clinical and clinical issues throughout adolescence (Nguyen et al., 2019) and gradually improve as an individual emerges into adulthood and beyond (Chung et al., 2014). The study also focused on University students in their final year of study as they prepared to leave full time education. University has been described as a time for the formation of a new identity (Briggs et al., 2012; Matschke et al., 2023; Pizzolata, 2003) and when an individual shifts their identity to a more complex understanding of self, located within the needs of others (Kroger, 2004). This also reflects the notion of emerging adulthood with its focus on identity exploration, experimentation, feeling in-between, negativity and self-focus (Arnett, 2004a, 2004b; Nelson & Barry, 2005; Reifman et al., 2007). Accordingly, the present study focused on those at a key transitional stage as they prepare to leave University to explore their reflections and the lessons they have learned from their own experiences of adolescence using a novel methodology.

Methods

Design

A qualitative design was used to obtain detailed data on participants’ thoughts and experiences. The study used a think aloud procedure to enable flexibility and gain deeper insight into participants’ experiences (Cotton & Gresty, 2006; Ericsson & Simon, 1980; Mcleod & Ogden, 2013; Ogden & Roy Stanley, 2020; Ogden & Russell, 2013; van Oort et al., 2011) which was facilitated through the use of a photograph of the participant’s younger self in line with research illustrating the benefits of photographs for eliciting reflection (Holm, 2014).

Participants

Participants were 42 University students in their final year (32 Female, 10 Male), aged between 20 and 24 years old (mean = 21.5; SD = 0.95). The sample presented a variety of ethnicities and sexualities (Table 1). Participants were recruited online through word of mouth, social media advertisement (Instagram and Facebook), promotion on the University Research Participation System, snowball and volunteer sampling. In compensation for their time, student participants were given lab tokens. All participants have been given a pseudonym. Whilst 42 is a large sample for a qualitative study, given the heterogeneity of the sample and their experiences this sample enabled us to access a breadth of perspectives and reflections.

Table 1. Participant demographics.

Name	Age	Gend	Sexuality	Ethnicity	Name	Age	Gend	Sexuality	Ethnicity
Isla	20	F	Heterosexual	White British	Tony	21	M	Homosexual	Latino
Olivia	21	F	Heterosexual	White British	Alex	21	M	Homosexual	Latino
Nicole	20	F	Heterosexual	White British	Nadia	22	F	Heterosexual	Arab
Emma	21	F	Heterosexual	White British	Leila	22	F	Heterosexual	Asian Other
Ivy	21	F	Heterosexual	White British	Ethan	21	M	Heterosexual	White British
Grace	20	F	Heterosexual	White British	Chris	21	M	Heterosexual	Black British
Mimi	22	F	Heterosexual	White British	Daniel	21	M	Heterosexual	White British
Max	22	M	Heterosexual	White European	Zara	23	F	Heterosexual	Arab
Lauren	22	F	Heterosexual	White British	Melissa	22	F	Bisexual	White Other
Eleanor	22	F	Heterosexual	Black African	Bridget	22	F	Heterosexual	White British
Bob	22	M	Heterosexual	White British	Leonora	24	F	Heterosexual	White Other
Sofia	21	F	Heterosexual	White European	Gabriel	22	M	Bisexual	White British
Odena	20	F	Heterosexual	Black African	Fallon	22	F	Heterosexual	White British
Charlie	21	F	Heterosexual	White British	Sanvi	21	F	Heterosexual	Asian Other
Ellie	22	F	Heterosexual	White British	Eman	20	F	Heterosexual	Arab
Eliya	21	F	Heterosexual	White British	Kira	23	F	Heterosexual	White European
Franny	22	F	Heterosexual	White British	Aasiyah	21	F	Heterosexual	Indian
Jake	23	M	Other	Mixed Other	Ying	22	F	Heterosexual	Chinese
Chloe	23	F	Heterosexual	White British	Benito	21	M	Heterosexual	White European
Niahm	23	F	Heterosexual	White British	Quinn	21	F	Heterosexual	White European
Rebecca	23	F	Bisexual	White Other	Ash	21	F	Heterosexual	Indian

Procedure

The study received favourable ethical approval from the University Ethics Committee (FHMS 22-23 038 EGA). Inclusion criteria were final year students from the University, aged between 20 to 25 years old. Using an online survey to gain consent and obtain basic demographics (age, sex, student status, sexuality, ethnicity, contact details), a convenient interview time was then arranged between the participant and one of the four researchers. Think aloud sessions were completed online via Teams or Zoom, lasting an average of 10 minutes (range: 7–13). Whilst this is quite short for a qualitative interview it reflects a constant monologue without verbal prompts, interruptions or questions from the researchers and therefore enabled the participants to speak out loud, to their younger selves until they felt that they had finished all that they wanted to say. Interviews were audio recorded and transcribed via Otter.ai. Transcripts were double coded to ensure accuracy.

The think aloud procedure

Data was collected using a think aloud procedure as it provides participants with a flexible, safe and comfortable space to reflect on their problems and difficulties during that time in their lives and can be more spontaneous and less open to social desirability influences than interviews (Cotton & Gresty, 2006; Ericsson & Simon, 1980; van Oort et al., 2011). This approach has been used across a number of domains including drug use, body image and eating behaviour (Mcleod & Ogden, 2013; Ogden & Roy Stanley, 2020; Ogden & Russell, 2013). For the current study the think aloud process was facilitated through the use of a photograph of the participant’s younger self chosen by the participant prior to the study onset. This reflects research which illustrates the benefits of photographs for encouraging free thinking and speaking (Holm, 2014). Specifically, participants were asked to bring along a photograph of themselves from their teenage years. Instructions for the Think Aloud task were as follows:

We are interested in what people would say now to their younger selves about the lessons they have learned as they have got older. In particular, we would like to focus on aspects such as confidence and self-esteem. Please do not focus on topics of a sexual nature, past traumas or issues surrounding physical/mental abuse and/or neglect and violence. Anything of this nature will be excluded from our data. As a practice run, we would like you to spend 1 minute talking out loud about what you did yesterday. Thank you. Now, let’s move on to the main study. Please look at the photo you have chosen of your younger self and have a think about the lessons you have learned since you were that age and would like to tell yourself back then. We would like to particularly focus on confidence and self-esteem.

We would like you to talk about this for about 10 minutes, but feel free to speak for up to 20 minutes if you feel you have more to say. After 20 minutes we will need to stop the recording.

This approach provided participants a safe space to help them recall memories and feelings of that period of their lives and ‘talk’ to their younger selves about what they have learned now looking back. Prior to the task, participants were asked whether they would prefer the researcher’s screen to be on or off. Of the 42 participants 10 had the screen on and 31 had the screen off. The researchers reported that there seemed to be no differences in the reflections of those who either had the screen on or off. The study specifically avoided issues of trauma at the request of the ethics committee due to the use of University students as both researchers and participants. In line with this, the study facilitated a more positive reflection of lessons that had been learned rather than any current ongoing problems.

Data analysis

Data was analysed using inductive thematic analysis (Braun & Clarke, 2006), as it provides a rich and detailed account of data by favouring in-depth unique interviews. Simultaneously, this reflective approach encourages a structural approach to data handling by facilitating the identification of patterns within the data through the coding and formation of themes and subthemes throughout the data analysis. The epistemological perspective was a critical realist stance (Willig, 2012). This allowed the analysis to accept the data for what it was and recognize that it represented ‘reality’ for participants. This stance also acknowledged that people construct their understanding of the world through their own experiences, and that ‘reality’ is shaped by social, contextual and historical factors. The analytic process followed the 6 phases of thematic analysis (Braun & Clarke, 2006).

To begin the inductive analysis procedure (phase 1: familiarisation), researchers read the transcripts multiple times to ensure familiarization with the content. Next (phase 2: generating initial codes) sections relevant to the aim of the study were color-coded and categorized, leading to the identification of patterns among the data. Then, those with similar content were grouped together and given a short self-explanatory label, generating themes further grouped into sub-themes to create a thematic hierarchy (phase 3: searching for themes). To ensure credibility, researchers discussed and refined the themes and codes to ensure they were distinct and relevant enough for an evidence-based and clear narrative (phase 4: reviewing the themes). Once agreed, the themes and subthemes were illustrated in a thematic map, and relevant extracts from the transcripts were used to develop a thematic story (phase 5: defining and naming the themes). Finally, the final paper was written enabling some iteration between the themes and the selected quotes (phase 6: producing the report).

Positionality

Data was collected by four researchers who all identify as women, were aged 20–24 years and were students at the University. One identifies as White British, two identify as White European and one identifies as multiple ethnic background. Data was analysed by these 4 researchers and their supervisor who identifies as female, White British and was 57 at the time of analysis. Each researcher had their own interests including ethnicity, sexuality and appearance concerns. They had also each experienced different issues in their teenage years including anxiety, problems with confidence and self-esteem. This variability was reflected in our discussions around the codes, themes and sub themes and what aspects of the transcripts to highlight in our analysis. It is possible that the use of University students as researchers who interviewed other University students may well have influenced the openness of the accounts given. This was mitigated against where possible by reassuring the participants that their accounts would be anonymised and by having the option to have the screen on or off.

Results

Thematic analysis described three main themes relating to the lessons learned since their teenage years: (i) Create a safe space for yourself; (ii) Look around you and take perspective; (iii) Look inwards and trust yourself. Transcending these themes was the value of learning to ‘Be patient and accept that change will happen’ and an overarching theme on the importance of choosing to ‘Pay attention to what matters’. These themes will be described and further illustrated with exemplar quotes below (Figure 1 for a thematic map). Participants engaged well with the task and the majority adopted direct speech saying ‘you should’, and ‘remember you can’ and ‘you may feel’ etc. In line with this, the following analysis uses this terminology.

Figure 1. Thematic map.

A mind map illustrating the key themes from the study. The lessons learned looking back involved managing both internal factors and external factors, being patient and a need to pay attention to what matters and ignore what doesn’t matter.

Main theme 1: Create a safe space for yourself

The first main theme describes the importance of creating a safe space by managing your social environment that allows you to feel good about yourself. Participants attained this through the following subthemes: ‘Choose well’, ‘Let go’ and ‘set boundaries’.

Choose well

First, participants talked about the importance of choosing your social environment well in order to create a strong support system. An example, of this is given by Leila:

You should choose your friends very carefully. Choose people that make you happy, that make time for you and that you enjoy their company of because they’re going to be your main support when times get tough. (Leila)

Similarly, Odena said: 

My younger self used to allow just anyone to be part of our lives and space. But now that I’m older, we’ve definitely learned that not everyone should be privileged of that. (Odena)

Let go

Another important aspect of creating a safe space is learning to let go of people and situations that are not good for your well-being. For example, Ellie said:

If people want to leave your life, let them go, do not try to cling on to friendships that are maybe just not meant to be. (Ellie)

Furthermore, participants such as Sofia described the benefits of letting go as:

An important part of growing up. (Sofia)

Adding:

You will find people that are going to love you for who you are, and they’re gonna be willing to listen, help you, and accept you for who you are. (Sofia)

Set boundaries

Participants also talked about the importance of setting boundaries, by standing your ground and taking space for yourself if needed. This is exemplified by Melissa: 

People are out for themselves, so don’t let those people walk all over you or make you feel like you have to do everything that they say. Be strong, stand up for yourself. (Melissa) 

Niahm also described the need for boundaries and highlighted how having space and focusing on her needs had helped her to become a stronger and healthier person:

Be a little bit more selfish (…) sometimes you need to look after your own mental health first, to be a better person, and then to look out after everyone else around you. (Niahm)

This focus on ‘creating a safe space’ and the importance of having a positive social environment for their wellbeing reflects research which highlighting the role of positive social support as key to adolescents’ well-being (Groh et al., 2017; Stapley et al., 2023). It also aligns with studies indicating how negative social interactions including bullying and peer rejection can lead to clinical mental health problems such as anxiety, depression and suicidality together with subclinical issues such as low self-esteem (Adedeji et al., 2021;; Kendrick et al., 2012; Pfeifer & Allen, 2021). The results also provide in depth insights into how such a safe social space can be created with a focus on choosing friends well, letting go of poor relationships and setting boundaries to achieve only beneficial social interactions.

Main theme 2: Look around you and take perspective

The second main theme describes the importance of taking perspective and looking beyond your life and current situation as a means to help to build your self-esteem. Participants described how they had attained this perspective through learning to ‘look outwards’, realising that ‘labels don’t define you’, and ‘appearance isn’t everything’.

Look outwards

Participants described how looking outwards had enabled them to gain perspective on their lives by realising that they are not alone and that it could be worse. This is clearly illustrated by Alex: 

Don’t take life too seriously. In such a wide world, you are still one person, and there’s probably someone else who’s experiencing the same thing as you in terms of finding your foot in the world or finding a way to express yourself. (Alex)

Similarly, whilst Franny emphasised the passing of time Mimi focused on world events to encourage a wider perspective:

Life goes really quickly. And it’s too short to be worrying about things that actually really don’t matter. (Franny)

Taking a step back and acknowledging the things that are going on in this world helps you realise what’s really important, so don’t sweat on the small stuff. (Mimi)

Labels don’t define you

Taking perspective was also described as a way to recognise social norms and the pressures they can place on you. Therefore, by being aware and critical of these norms, participants encouraged their younger selves to embrace their own individuality. This can be seen in both Ellie’s and Ash’s interviews:

When I was younger, I felt like I had to wear and do what everybody else was doing and I really wish I was able to be a bit more unique, I wish I saw how special that was. (Ellie) 

You have different unique gifts and talents. It may not be the same as everyone else’s, but that’s what makes you, you. Embrace it instead of trying to fit anyone else’s mould. (Ash)

Similarly, Zana highlighted the importance of prioritizing self-acceptance rather than trying to fit with stereotypes:

Don’t adhere to social media’s obsession with fixing your physical appearance with makeup. Appreciate what your face looks like and don’t think about what other people are thinking… It’s part of me so I would rather just take the time slowly to start appreciating my face structure a bit more. (Zara)

Appearance isn’t everything

Relatedly, taking perspective also allowed participants like Eliya and Charlie to separate their self-value from their appearance:

You don’t need to lose weight to be happy. If you truly learn to love yourself, and who you are deep down, you’ll realize that your body is the least interesting thing about you. (Eliya)

During that time, my confidence was reliant on how I looked, how my body looked whereas now my confidence is about who I am, how I’m perceived by others personality-wise, and what I do, how I act in jobs, academics… (Charlie)

Participants such as Olivia also shared a shift in their understanding of what it means to be healthy and how that helped her gain perspective over her appearance:

Health is understanding that it’s okay to fuel your body because what your body can do is way more important than how it looks. (Olivia)

Similarly, Charlie said to her younger self: 

Just because I was slightly heavier than other people doesn’t mean that I was unhealthy. So, I would tell her: You do not have to change your body just because others look different to you. (Charlie)

Ellie similarly talked to her younger self about some of her regrets about how she felt back then:

‘Wishes she accepted her body in the way that is changing’, and the importance of ‘embracing’ and ‘loving yourself in every stage’ because ‘they are normal’ and a ‘part of growing up’. (Ellie)

Participants therefore encouraged their younger selves to ‘look around you and take perspective’ as a key lesson they had learned as they emerged into adulthood to develop a positive view of themselves and help to see the bigger picture. This supports existing literature emphasising coping strategies and the development of resilience as protective factors against mental health (Leipold et al., 2019; Stapley et al., 2020, 2023). It also reflects how such cognitive strategies can buffer against pressures from peers and social media (Hermann et al., 2022; Konaszewski et al., 2021). Furthermore, the emphasis on perspective taking echoes key components of CBT which encourages strategies such as distancing as a way of gaining perspective from ones’ problems and has been shown to be effective for young people (Klein, Jacobs & Reinecke, 2007). In particular, they emphasised specific lessons relating to the benefits of looking outwards, recognising that labels don’t define you and relatedly that appearance isn’t everything.

Main theme 3: Look inwards and trust yourself

This third main theme illustrates the need to look inwards and learn to trust yourself through the lessons: ‘listen to your feelings’, ‘focus on yourself not others’, ‘manage success and failure’ and ‘accept your identity’.

Listen to your feelings

When talking to their younger selves, participants described the importance of ‘trusting your gut’ and the need to listen to your feelings. This is evident in Leila’s think aloud transcript: 

Pay a lot of attention to how you feel about everything and pay attention to your mental health because It’s something that you cannot let go of. (Leila)

She then also added:

Other people will tell you that these issues are not real, that you can just pray it away. Don’t believe them, trust yourself. Trust your gut. (Leila)

Similarly, Chris said to his younger self:

Make sure to take care of yourself a bit more. There are times when it’s easy not to do that, to just try and push on with your life and focus on others. But it’s better to take care of yourself and build up these abilities and systems and routines that will just benefit you later in life. (Chris)

But also adds that listening to your own feelings is not always advised if it comes with self-doubt:

Try not to let your doubts take over because when that happens, you don’t really have your all into it and it just stops you from getting the best experience out of life. (Chris)

Focus on yourself, not others

Part of learning to trust yourself was also the importance of focusing on yourself and not to ‘worry about what everyone else is doing’. (Mimi). As Franny says:

Don’t let others’ achievements affect your confidence (…) just because they’re successful doesn’t automatically mean that you’re not as well. (Franny)

Similarly, Mimi adds: 

As long as you are happy and doing things for yourself who cares what everyone else says. (Mimi)

Managing success and failure 

Participants also described ways in which you can gain trust in yourself by learning to manage success and failure. In terms of success, participants encouraged their younger selves to ‘stop limiting your own potential’ (Ethan) by ‘being confident in your abilities’ (Gabriel) and trust that ‘you know way more than you realize’ (Charlie).

Likewise, participants also talked about ways to manage failure. For example, Ellie said:

My younger self was a quitter, especially with the things I was not perfect at and I really wish she was confident enough to stay and push on. (Ellie)

Similarly, Daniel shared the importance of redirecting the meaning of failure: 

Realize that you don’t ever lose. You either win or you learn, and those experiences will build up to really important life lessons, ultimately making you the person that you’re going to be when you’re older. (Daniel)

Similarly, Max adds that:

As long as you’ve tried your hardest then why should you regret anything? It doesn’t matter, you don’t need to be permanently achieving stuff. (Max).

Accept your identity

The final component of learning to trust yourself was the importance of accepting your identity. For example, as Tony said:

It’s fun for a little bit to pretend you’re someone you’re not, for the validation, but it’s not worth it because you end up feeling shocked by yourself, to a point where you don’t even know yourself anymore. He adds ‘never again’. (Tony)

Often identity was also talked about in terms of sexuality and culture. For example, Gabriel talked to his younger self about coming out as bisexual and how everything changed. It made him more confident – he felt as though he didn’t have to hide who he was anymore:

don’t feel like you have to hide that personality away – really express yourself. You’ve been hiding it for a while. Make up for that lost time and express yourself fully. (Gabriel)

Sanvi emphasised the importance of learning about his culture and how this was part of his journey in accepting who he was:

I would advise you to have more time to learn about yourself and your culture. Don’t go into this generalised version of how we need to be. In this white country, embrace your culture. Learn to love it more. (Sanvi)

Similarly, Ying mentioned how she had neglected her culture in a bid to ‘fit in’:

I was definitely trying to move towards not being Asian, which I hate because I’m so proud to be where I am from and I’m so proud of my heritage, my background, my family. That is literally who I am, what makes me me. I feel like back then I just didn’t care, I wanted to fit in and I felt really uncomfortable. (Ying)

This third theme encapsulates the importance of ‘looking inwards and trusting yourself’ in which participants encouraged their younger selves to listen to their feelings, focus on yourself not others, learn to manage success and failure in a positive way and learn to accept your identity. These lessons reflect the use of cognitive strategies such as reflection and self-awareness to promote self-esteem and resilience (Leipold et al., 2019; Stapley et al., 2020, 2023). They also echo elements of CBT, ACT and Mindfulness and their emphasis on acceptance, self-care and taking action based on one’s values as key to cope with difficult emotions and circumstances (Hayes, Strosahl & Wilson, 2011; Klein et al., 2007; Petersen et al., 2022).

Transcending theme: be patient and accept change

Overall, the emerging adults in this study described their experience during adolescence as complicated and often full of self-doubt and criticism. They therefore offered lessons to their younger selves which were classified into three main themes relating to (i) create a safe space, by managing your social environment, (ii) take perspective, where you look outwards and realize that it could be worse and (iii) look inwards and learn to trust yourself. Transcending these themes was the importance of being patient, taking time, allowing change to happen and realising you are not the finished product. Further, by being patient the key lessons of creating space, taking perspective and trusting yourself were more likely to happen.

For example, Melissa talked about living in the here and now: 

Don’t rush into things, slow down and appreciate being young (…) Stop thinking I need to be at this stage, you don’t. You just need to be where you are now. Enjoy it. (Melissa)

Similarly, Sofia said to her younger self:

Everything you are doing now is gonna pay off. So just keep working, be patient, and let time do its thing. (Sofia).

Participants such as Fallon and Ash also emphasised the importance of being patient, accepting change and trusting that change is often for the better:

A lot of things change and although it is scary, and weird and confusing, it always is for the better when you look back at it, so just don’t fight it, accept it when it comes and just know it is helping you grow and become a better stronger version of you. (Fallon)

Your journey and your path are unique and incomparable to others and it’s gonna be hard. Change is not easy. But you’re gonna get through it. (Ash)

Similarly, Nadia said: 

Don’t worry so much (…) just trust that things will happen when and if they are meant to (…) they will come to you at the right time when you can handle it. (Nadia)

This transcending theme of ‘being patient’ and allowing change to happen emphasises the need to accept where and who they are in the present moment as a key contributor for their wellbeing. This approach is not only core to ACT (Petersen et al., 2022) and Mindfulness (Dunning et al., 2019; Hayes et al., 2011) it also reflects a sense of time passing in line with the maturational process of emerging adults (Arnett, 2000).

Overarching theme: pay attention to what matters

Finally, analysis of the think aloud transcripts described a higher level theme relating to the lesson that transitioning from a worried teenager to an emerging adult is about learning to pay attention to what matters and by focusing on the positives in your life, you can grow into the most positive and healthy person that you can. This final theme can be seen to overarch both the main three themes and the notion of being patient and allowing change to happen.

For example, ‘creating a safe space’ enables you to pay attention to the positives in your life because you have a strong social support.

Having a solid friendship group now allows me to be who I want to be and actually feel settled and confident in who I am. (Ellie)

Likewise, ‘taking perspective’ encourages you to look at the good in life by making comparisons with things that make you feel better about yourself. 

Hearing stories about other people and seeing things online, I’m more grateful every single day of what I look like. I’m grateful for my family. I’m grateful for where I am. (Mimi)

I wasn’t an ungrateful younger self. It was just, I didn’t realise what was really important. (Olivia)

Learning to ‘trust yourself’ also comes by paying attention to the positives in yourself and situations, as opposed to the negatives.

As I’ve grown older and slowly learned to love myself, my self-esteem has shifted from being dependent on other people, on external acceptance and physical appearance, to more reliant on myself, who I am as a person. (Sofia)

Finally, learning to pay attention to what matters also comes with ‘being patient’ and accepting that change will happen:

Self-value will always flick up and down, and that’s okay. Confidence will come with it and you will just be a better person by knowing and understanding this. Because when you value and respect yourself you don’t have much to lose. (Rebecca)

This final overarching reflects the key lesson of ‘paying attention to what matters’ and that by creating a safe space, taking perspective, trusting yourself and being patient, participants told their younger selves that they should try to focus on the positives in their lives. Such an approach very much reflects the key tenets of the talking therapies recommended for this age group (Dunning et al., 2019; Hayes et al., 2011; Petersen et al., 2022).

Discussion

University can be a time of transition and a chance for a shift in identity. It can also be a time when many problems experienced in adolescence start to subside. The present study aimed to explore what lessons young adults in their final year at University would give to their younger selves as they reflect back on their maturational story. Findings from the thematic analysis described three main themes; ‘create a safe space’, ‘look around you and take perspective’ and ‘look inwards and trust yourself’. Transcending these themes was the value of learning to ‘be patient and accept change’, and an overarching all transcripts was the importance of choosing to ‘pay attention to what matters’ in life. These lessons highlight the need to regulate both the external world (create a safe space) and the internal world (take perspective and trust yourself). They also emphasise a need to trust in time passing and be more accepting (be patient) and to selectively attend to what is positive (pay attention to what matters). These findings reflect previous research exploring what changes as an individual emerges into adulthood (Konaszewski et al., 2021; Leipold et al., 2019). They also reflect how teenagers and young adults experience and describe coping with their wellbeing and mental health issues (Grob et al., 2020; Hermann et al., 2022; Stapley et al., 2020, 2023). Furthermore, they often echo many components of therapies such as CBT, ACT and Mindfulness with their emphasis on perspective taking and acceptance. Further, they reflect University as a time of transition and a place for reinvention and the development of a new identity (Matschke et al., 2023; Briggs et al., 2012; Pizzolata, 2003; Kroger, 2004). Finally, however, they also reflect the retrospective reflections of ‘success stories’ and ‘recovery stories’ across other domains as varied as smoking cessation, weight loss and maintenance, burns, Anorexia Nervosa, persistent mental illness and suicidality (Epiphaniou & Ogden, 2010; Everall et al., 2006; Jenkins & Ogden, 2012; Jensen & Wadkins, 2007; Ogden & Hills, 2008; Williams et al., 2003). For example, the need to ‘create a safe space’ is parallel to the need to draw upon positive social support, ‘taking perspective’ and ‘trust yourself’ reflect many of the cognitive strategies linked with success and recovery and ‘being patient’ and ‘paying attention to what matters’ reflects the emphasis on time passing and selective focus.

There are some limitations to this study, however, that need to be considered. First, whilst the sample was large for a qualitative study all participants were University students and mostly female which limits the generalisability of the findings. Second, the sample was composed of the researchers’ fellow university students. Therefore, whilst the think aloud approach encourages spontaneity with less social desirability, this may have resulted in power dynamics or unequal relationships that could have prevented participants from sharing their true reflections. The emphasis on lessons learned and the request not to focus on trauma, however, may have created a more open environment and helped participants feel that it was safe to speak freely about their experiences. To our knowledge, however, this is the first qualitative think aloud study using a photograph to facilitate reflection which focuses on young adults telling their younger selves about their lessons learned.

These findings have implications for practice and research. In terms of practice, the lessons learned provide valuable insights for educators and practitioners who work with young people to better understand their needs and experiences and could be used as the basis for an intervention to support young people in their teenage years. In particular, using the direct voices from this age group could provide relatable lessons from a peer group that may be more impactful than those derived from experts or those deemed to be outsiders. In terms of research, the novel use of a photograph think-aloud method has the potential for many other areas of application. For example, whilst the present study focused on issues with self esteem during adolescence, it could be used to identify lessons learned for recovery or maturational stories after a multitude of life stages such as bereavement, divorce or retirement; after mental health conditions such as self-harm, depression, psychosis or anxiety; after treatment for physical health conditions such as cancer or having had a heart attack or stroke; or after traumas such as physical, mental or sexual abuse. Further, it could be used with a multiple of different age groups, sexualities or ethnicities as a means to map the insiders’ voices across a wealth of life experiences. Finally, the process of speaking aloud to a photograph of one’s younger self may itself be therapeutic and may have benefits for those emerging into adulthood. Further research is needed to test this possibility.

To conclude, the present study used a novel photograph prompted think aloud methodology to explore the lessons those about to leave University would give to their younger selves and highlighted the role for ‘creating a safe space’; ‘looking around you and take perspective’ and ‘look inwards and trust yourself’. Further, transcending these themes was the notion of ‘being patient’ with an overall emphasis on ‘pay attention to what matters’. These findings find reflection in previous research on experiences of well-being related issues in young people and are in line with recovery and success stories for a number of mental and physical health problems. In addition, they echo much of the core components of talking therapies such as CBT, ACT and Mindfulness. These lessons, also, however, provide an insider’s voice which is both relatable and inspiring for young people struggling with confidence and self-esteem in adolescence as well as reassurance that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Further, they suggest that whilst adolescence may be a challenging stage, when looking back, those moving forward into adulthood can see a myriad of ways in which they are psychologically healthier than they were in their more troubled teenage years. In addition, they illustrate the application of a novel photograph prompted think aloud method that could be used to elicit lessons learned after a range of life stages, mental or physical health conditions.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Data availability statement

The participants of this study did not give written consent for their data to be shared publicly, so due to the sensitive nature of the research supporting data is not available.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Jane Ogden

Jane Ogden (PhD) is a Professor in Health Psychology at the University of Surrey where she carries research into aspects of women’s health with a focus on eating behaviour, body image, weight management and communication.

Amel Boukabous

Amel Boukabous (BSc) was an undergraduate student at the University of Psychology. This study was her final year dissertation.

Emily Ford

Emily Ford (BSc) was an undergraduate student at the University of Psychology. This study was her final year dissertation.

Maggie Pedrosa

Maggie Pedrosa (BSc) was an undergraduate student at the University of Psychology. This study was her final year dissertation.

Clara Roca Pintor

Clara Roca Pintor (BSc) was an undergraduate student at the University of Psychology. This study was her final year dissertation.